One month ago, on August 9 to be exact, a couple of book-scouts became a family of book-scouts.
Meet Ewan. He shares a middle and last name with his Scottish grandpa. He was born with a full head of auburn hair, which is slowly being replaced with blonde fluff. His eyes are dark, dark blue, always wide open. He is calm, not particularly sleepy (alas), and strong. Did I mention strong? I knew it at 16 weeks when I first felt his Herculean kicks. His feet are absolutely perfect and much too big for his body and all of his footed pajamas and socks. He loves the bath. He looks just like his Papa. He has a library to rival any classroom thanks to my wonderful work and friends.
I love him.
The fact that he exists still astounds me.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
After a year of radio silence on my part, this no doubt seems like a sudden announcement. But I've written this post a thousand times in my head. I wrote it during the hard days of an often difficult pregnancy, and I write it again and again in the pre-dawn hours of every evening, nursing and rocking, when everything in the house is eerily quiet and yet life has suddenly become screamingly loud. I thought I would call it quits on the internet the day I found out I was going to become a mother. I was working two part time jobs and sick in a way that I knew would require my full attention and energy just to make it through until my due date. A baby, two dogs, a cat, multiple day jobs, and oh yes, a restaurant? Not a lot of time left for internet shenanigans.
Had you asked me then why I kept paying my monthly blog-hosting dues, I would not have been able to tell you. Stupidity? TRUTH: I totally forgot my Typepad password. But I'm glad I didn't throw in the towel. All those stupid dues (highway robbery!) were worth it just so I could introduce the world or at least all threes of you who are still out there, to the most wonderful little person. He is a pretty great reason to keep writing, I think. Not mommy-blogging, no, but about all of it: books, my son, myself, boobs, poop jokes, and (hopefully) raising a reader.
Also, posting gratuitous newborn photos. Because OMG YOU GUYS LOOK AT THAT CHIN.
All love,
*Andrea
